Yesterday

This feels a little strange, to be honest. I look around me and I know that the world's the same. It's still rotating and revolving around our star. Time ticks on. I could continue with this near-poetic type of narrative, but it'd just be my way of distracting from what this is really about.

Yesterday, a man named Rolf Smart passed away. He hadn't been doing well for a while, and was in the hospital. He wasn't in pain, or suffering, but it still happened. A terrible loss for a number of people, myself included. This man was my grandfather. My mother's father. The man who's name is my middle name.

When my parents divorced when I was six, my mother took me and my sister to live with her (my mother's) parents. We lived there for little more than six years. Every morning before school, I had an apple and some cheese, which my grandfather had set out for me. He helped me with my (former) love of trains, with pictures and an electric train-set in the basement. He showed me how to build things with the workshop he had in the basement, like a little wooden boat which was a bath toy. He taught me how to tie a necktie, and even gave me a few of his, which I still have and wear to this day.

In the past few years we weren't as close as we used to be. Since Mum got a place of her own, he and I didn't see one another as often, and we didn't speak as often either. But he was still that man, who taught me so many things, big and small, who left me so many things. Even on a genetic level; he's one of the reasons I'm as tall as I am, heh.

I really am not that good at this type of thing. But I miss him. I saw him on Friday night, just little more than a day before we lost him. I thought then that it was hard to think of words to say, but that moment seems to be in the shadow of this one.

In other news: still waiting for my mark to be changed, and school starts in a week. I'm also (apparently) no longer in the cabaret I was a part of; I missed yesterday's rehearsal because of what happened, and apparently an announcement was made at the end of the rehearsal saying that I was no longer part of it. I wonder what will happen next...

Currently: browsing the net, and listening to the album of this lovely little musical which I always enjoy, called "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." I'd read comics, but I don't have any that are new to me, and I don't feel like reading my old ones.