Into the A.M.

Part 1.

I have sleeping problems. I find it difficult to get to sleep. And when I say difficult, I mean truly difficult. Difficult in the sense where I lie awake in bed for hours, doing nothing to keep my system going, and I just so happen to be awake. Lately, I rarely fall asleep before 4am or even 4.30am. Last night? I was still awake when my mother woke up to get ready to go to work. I was so bored lying in bed that I actually counted how many times the blades of my ceiling fan rotate in a minute, roughly.

It's rough, being in bed, knowing it's going to be hours before you actually manage to get some sleep. And you think you can do stuff to kill that time. Read, do some homework if you have any, write something, watch a movie, or draw a picture. But in reality, you can't. Doing that stuff just keeps your system going. It's ridiculous. And it's rough.

I've discovered that the best sleep I get is when I'm not at home. I can actually get something of a normal night's sleep when I am someplace other than my own home. Or if something's different, like someone's staying in my room and I need to sleep on the couch for a few nights. The further away I am from the image of home, the easier it is to sleep. Couch? Not that big a deal. A couch or a fold-up-bed in someone else's place? I could fall asleep pretty easily. Someone else's bed; I'll sleep as if I don't have any sleeping problems.

In fact, since GC and I became something official, I feel as if I have no problems at all when she's around. Not just sleeping problems, but any problems at all. When she's around, I feel good. I actually, genuinely, feel good. And let me tell you; when you have someone in your life that triggers that kind of feeling in you, hold onto them. Between you and me, I plan on belonging to my Girl in the Capital for as long as she wants me, and longer still if I get any say in it. I'm crazy about her.

But no (getting back on topic), I don't have any problems with my home, or my room, or my bed. They're all nice, great, and everything. No problems whatsoever. But I'm asking myself the same questions that your wondering; why. Why is it so hard to sleep? I don't know.

But I do know something.

Once I get to sleep, it's not very often I have what you would call a "normal dream."

PS: This was only part 1. You'll know when we get to part 2, don't worry.