Something's Wrong

I don't understand. This doesn't make sense. I shouldn't be awake right now. This shouldn't be happening. Wait, you're a bit lost, I suppose I should start at the top.

I have sleeping problems. My mother's side of the family has some history of sleeping problems, I just happen to get hit with the hard stuff instead of it skipping a generation or two like it sometimes does. Most of the time, my partial-insomnia makes it extremely hard to get to sleep, but not impossible. And when I am sleeping, it doesn't last very long. A couple hours at most. Usually I get close to half of the "full 8 hours of sleep that's required."

On occasion, however, I won't be able to sleep at all. I'll toss and turn in bed, trying to find a position more comfortable than the last. I'll spend hours staring at the ceiling, keeping my mind absolutely clear and keeping my body absolutely still. I'll practice meditation (my uncle's a Buddhist, and meditation is something we practice in Movement and Creation at school) to ensure that I have peace of body and mind at these times. I'll regulate my breathing into something extremely clear and relaxed. But none of these things get me to sleep on the occasions that my insomnia kicks into high gear.

On nights like those where my usual tricks and methods don't work, then I resort to something a little more old fashioned; tiring myself out. I'll read. I'll go for a walk, or a jog, or a run, or even a bike ride. I'll go to my basement and do push-ups and sit-ups until my muscles are screaming at me and can't do anymore. None of this helps though; it just makes me more tired, yes, but not sleepy tired. So it makes the next day more difficult.

Now to the present.

Thursday I had been awake for a good 22 hours. Then I got 3 hours of sleep. Friday morning was extremely boring, but I was able to entertain myself with some music and card games, and reading some articles on the internet. When it came time for school and classes, I showered, dressed, got ready and everything. Everything was going alright.

At some point during my Intro to Movement class, I somehow pinched a nerve in my back. All of the muscles in my back tightened towards that one point. It hurt all on it's own, and the slightest shift and movement made the pain worse. So I went to the Health Services office at my school, missing the first half of my voice class (Terry, my teacher, was notified, so it was okay). I had visited this office a great deal last year, concerning acquiring fresh bandages when injuries needed new dressings, or when my asthma started to flare up again.

At Health Services, I was checked up, and then sat down in a chair with a heating pad on my back. It relaxed the muscles, helping relieve the tension and taking the pain from "god this hurts" to "this is an ache, or a sore, at most. I can live with that." I attended the rest of voice class, and then hung out with some friends for a few hours. Even did some yoga outside Casgrain.

After a little while though, the pain came back. Slowly at first, but then in full force. So I went to the hospital. They told me the same thing; nerve in the back. It would take time and rest for it to heal and the pain to go away. Minimal movement and whatnot. I had to see a play last night for a class though, and told them this, so they gave me a shot of god-knows-what in my back. Made the pain go away instantly, even though it was just a temporary fix.

So at this point I've been awake for nearly 36 hours with only 3 hours of sleep (and not full, well-rested sleep). Yeah, the pain is gone (for now), but I'm still dead on my feet. My muscles are tired and don't want to support me anymore, but I keep on trekking. I go to the play. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but the play was fun. Halfway through the play, though, the shot I was given wears off, and my pain is back.

But with a new twist! Every time I cough (asthma) or sneeze (allergies), I get a really sharp pain in my head. Ouch. Major time ouch.

When I get home (which takes a good hour-plus), I tell my Mum about the back and the pain. I'm given some pills for back-pain and to relax my muscles. I take some aspirin for my head. I take some benedryl for my allergies. I take one of 'em sucker things that soothe the throat, preventing coughs. And I set myself up on the couch in my basement, lying perfectly flat on my back and absolutely still, while watching some Heroes Season 2 on DVD (that I recently got).

I was able to watch all the bonus features of the first disc, all three episodes and bonus features of the second disc before nodding off. I was going to get up to put disc three in, but decided against it since I was comfortable and didn't want to move. I nodded off. And woke up four hours later.

Four hours is decent for me... if I hadn't been awake for the equivalent of two days and acquired a back injury. I don't understand why I'm awake right now. I shouldn't be. I had exceeded the limits, even for me and my insomnia. I was hurt. In pain. I should've been passed out for an extra three hours, at least. (Yeah, I sleep best when injured. As nice as it is that it helps me sleep, it sucks that I've been injured enough to know it for a fact.)

But no. I'm awake. Still in pain, but it's just a sore. An ache. A bearable pain.