This is it. The morning of the last day of this particular year. Nothing all that special about this specific morning, apart from the fact that it's on the day where, at night, everyone drinks and embarrasses themselves. As they bid farewell to the past year, and welcome in the new year. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda. "NINJA PUNCH!" Not a whole lot to it.
It's not even 9am, and I've been up for a little while. Got plans for tonight with el best friend, which should be fun. Not exactly sure what said plans are, but it involves friends and celebrations of some kind, so they must be fun and exciting in some way, shape, or form. Right?
No, I don't have resolutions picked out already. I've got a couple things in mind, but I don't really see them as New Year's Resolutions. Why wait for the year to end to make resolutions to improve myself as a person? Anyway, my non-resolution-thingys involve finding a steady job, focusing more in school (if I can sort out the whole probation thing), working on making myself better and healthier (bit of a story there), improving my singing voice, learning an instrument, continuing my writing... a bunch of things*. Some big, some small, some important, some not.
*One of these things is "get superpowers if possible." A practical one too, if I get to choose.
I don't know what to do today though. Tonight is where the party and the life is at, but what about during the day? The sun is up, the air is chilled and brisk; a typical winter morning in Montreal. Worst part is; I'm bored. And it's not like it's the afternoon so I only have a couple hours to kill; I have the whole day ahead of me. Oof. Maybe I'll just read Neil Gaiman's "Eternals." That's a good way to kill some time; comic books. Fuck'n right.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The End of 2008
The New Year is right around the corner. Christmas is behind us. Still got a couple of weeks before school starts. But even though I'm on my "winter break," I feel like I've been working hard, and I've got more work ahead of me.
I got my final marks in the other day. 4 out of 5 marks were a pass ("success!"). The 5th mark... I'm shy 3% of a pass. Which isn't good, because of my academic probation. I have to pass 5 courses in order to stay in school, see? If I don't, I get booted out for one academic year. Don't think it's over yet though. I've already got plans to try to get that last mark to a passing mark. I can't just challenging the man, but I've got to speak with him too. Call the teacher, see if there's anything I can do with him for a grade booster. Talk to my counsellor to see if I can get my probation extended, in the event of not being able to boost my mark. Either way, I've got a couple of plans to try to sort this all out. If nothing works... then I guess I go with my "This is what'll happen if I don't stay in school" plan. I just have yet to work out the specifics of that plan, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Toronto. Arrived on Wednesday, just in time for Christmas with the Cassidys. My father, his wife, and his parents live out here in Etobicoke, where I was born. But for this Christmas, my uncles and cousins and those extended branches of family were here too, thus somewhat obligating me to come. It's nice being in Toronto, but I feel a little... I don't know... suffocated with family. I leave to return to Montreal in an hour or so though. I think the highlight of the trip was seeing my friend Hannah, who I met at Improv Camp 2006. I hadn't seen her since last winter, when I was last in Toronto, so it was really nice spending a day in the downtown area with her.
Wait, no, there's another highlight. I got to see my cousin Phil. He's four years older than me. When we were younger, he was always "the older cousin." This trip, however, I think he was my best friend when it came to the family stuff. We're both adults now, and we're on the same level. Anyway, he's part of this awesome band that's doing really well for themselves. I plan on catching their next show, if I can. The point of this mention was that he and I got to catch up, which was totally awesome. And he says he's going to teach me an instrument, if I'm interested. Which I very much am. Guitar or piano, I suspect, but I'd be happy with either!
Montreal; I get back today. 6 hours sitting in a car, with an occasional stretch break (probably once or twice during the entire trip). And guess what; I work tonight! Which involves more sitting, but at a bar instead of in a car. A lot of sitting in one day. I think I might go to The Orphanage tomorrow. I'd go to The Pound, but that's more of a Thursday night thing.
(Confused yet? The Pound and the Orphanage are the "names" of places I like. I'll probably go more into it in a later post.)
I got my final marks in the other day. 4 out of 5 marks were a pass ("success!"). The 5th mark... I'm shy 3% of a pass. Which isn't good, because of my academic probation. I have to pass 5 courses in order to stay in school, see? If I don't, I get booted out for one academic year. Don't think it's over yet though. I've already got plans to try to get that last mark to a passing mark. I can't just challenging the man, but I've got to speak with him too. Call the teacher, see if there's anything I can do with him for a grade booster. Talk to my counsellor to see if I can get my probation extended, in the event of not being able to boost my mark. Either way, I've got a couple of plans to try to sort this all out. If nothing works... then I guess I go with my "This is what'll happen if I don't stay in school" plan. I just have yet to work out the specifics of that plan, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Toronto. Arrived on Wednesday, just in time for Christmas with the Cassidys. My father, his wife, and his parents live out here in Etobicoke, where I was born. But for this Christmas, my uncles and cousins and those extended branches of family were here too, thus somewhat obligating me to come. It's nice being in Toronto, but I feel a little... I don't know... suffocated with family. I leave to return to Montreal in an hour or so though. I think the highlight of the trip was seeing my friend Hannah, who I met at Improv Camp 2006. I hadn't seen her since last winter, when I was last in Toronto, so it was really nice spending a day in the downtown area with her.
Wait, no, there's another highlight. I got to see my cousin Phil. He's four years older than me. When we were younger, he was always "the older cousin." This trip, however, I think he was my best friend when it came to the family stuff. We're both adults now, and we're on the same level. Anyway, he's part of this awesome band that's doing really well for themselves. I plan on catching their next show, if I can. The point of this mention was that he and I got to catch up, which was totally awesome. And he says he's going to teach me an instrument, if I'm interested. Which I very much am. Guitar or piano, I suspect, but I'd be happy with either!
Montreal; I get back today. 6 hours sitting in a car, with an occasional stretch break (probably once or twice during the entire trip). And guess what; I work tonight! Which involves more sitting, but at a bar instead of in a car. A lot of sitting in one day. I think I might go to The Orphanage tomorrow. I'd go to The Pound, but that's more of a Thursday night thing.
(Confused yet? The Pound and the Orphanage are the "names" of places I like. I'll probably go more into it in a later post.)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Providence?
Okay. School. It's done. No more assignments, tests, exams (hah, as if I had any), ceramic arts, or interviews. All I have to do now is wait patiently for the rest of my marks to come in. But as it would seem, good tidings are with me. I had my two interviews yesterday; one with Carol (for Moment and Theatre Creation) and one with Rob (for Acting). In that order.
With Carol, the interview couldn't be better. Apparently for this past semester, I was a star pupil save for an absence here or there. She told me that I seemed to work well with the class, that I was a really good example of a good in-class work ethic, that I was fantastic helping others with things that they found difficult, and a little bit more stuff too. All good. It was definitely a real confidence booster, if you ask me. Which was good since it was right before Rob's interview.
Don't get me wrong, Rob's interview went well, just nowhere near as well as Carol's. He's giving me a chance to show him that I am an actor. While I did improve over the second half of the semester (as he told me), like many others I still need work. And my insomnia made things difficult from time to time, in class, as I would start to doze off (rarely, but often enough to be a worry) after not getting sleep the previous night. So he and I have a deal now, which we call "Tough Love." If I start to doze off at all, I will be asked to leave the class and be marked as absent.
Normally such a thing would worry an insomniac such as myself. But I'm actually not worried. In fact, I doubt there will ever be a time like that. My determination is top notch. I already have a song selected for next semester's Acting class, and I'm already looking into monologue options and scene possibilities. This last semester was about getting back into the game; this upcoming semester is going to be about playing the game as best as I can.
For my other classes, I just need to wait for my marks to come in. But I've passed my Phys. Ed. class, I know that as a fact. As well as English; my written assignments were more than good, and everyone loved my play when it was performed. I even have a Scene Study picked for next semester, and hopefully I can do Splash Page as well. And if I can, then the two biggest assignments for that class are already finished. The only eyebrow raiser now is my Humanities class. I'm still waiting for the mark of my final paper, and that mark will make the difference between pass and fail. But I'm confident. My paper rocked, I know this. I just need the confirmation, you know?
So now I'm officially on winter break. Six weeks of freedom (be jealous, all my university-going friends!). I'm not working, except for the occasional karaoke night at the Phoenix. Although I might be bartending a special event at a club downtown sometime this month. If that comes through, that'll be several hundred dollars in one night, which I think I could use as my Holiday Funds. Combined with christmas money, I'll be able to do everything I want to do this break and so much more.
Things are good. There's always room for improvement, but I'm happy, and that's what matters, no?
With Carol, the interview couldn't be better. Apparently for this past semester, I was a star pupil save for an absence here or there. She told me that I seemed to work well with the class, that I was a really good example of a good in-class work ethic, that I was fantastic helping others with things that they found difficult, and a little bit more stuff too. All good. It was definitely a real confidence booster, if you ask me. Which was good since it was right before Rob's interview.
Don't get me wrong, Rob's interview went well, just nowhere near as well as Carol's. He's giving me a chance to show him that I am an actor. While I did improve over the second half of the semester (as he told me), like many others I still need work. And my insomnia made things difficult from time to time, in class, as I would start to doze off (rarely, but often enough to be a worry) after not getting sleep the previous night. So he and I have a deal now, which we call "Tough Love." If I start to doze off at all, I will be asked to leave the class and be marked as absent.
Normally such a thing would worry an insomniac such as myself. But I'm actually not worried. In fact, I doubt there will ever be a time like that. My determination is top notch. I already have a song selected for next semester's Acting class, and I'm already looking into monologue options and scene possibilities. This last semester was about getting back into the game; this upcoming semester is going to be about playing the game as best as I can.
For my other classes, I just need to wait for my marks to come in. But I've passed my Phys. Ed. class, I know that as a fact. As well as English; my written assignments were more than good, and everyone loved my play when it was performed. I even have a Scene Study picked for next semester, and hopefully I can do Splash Page as well. And if I can, then the two biggest assignments for that class are already finished. The only eyebrow raiser now is my Humanities class. I'm still waiting for the mark of my final paper, and that mark will make the difference between pass and fail. But I'm confident. My paper rocked, I know this. I just need the confirmation, you know?
So now I'm officially on winter break. Six weeks of freedom (be jealous, all my university-going friends!). I'm not working, except for the occasional karaoke night at the Phoenix. Although I might be bartending a special event at a club downtown sometime this month. If that comes through, that'll be several hundred dollars in one night, which I think I could use as my Holiday Funds. Combined with christmas money, I'll be able to do everything I want to do this break and so much more.
Things are good. There's always room for improvement, but I'm happy, and that's what matters, no?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Two Parties
The worst of it...
...has passed, I think. Hopefully, and (I can rightfully say this) finally. For school stuff, I mean. There's only one full week of school left, which is right after this weekend. And then two additional days of classes, but those are really nothing. And with all papers and assignments behind me, all I need to worry about for school is performance related stuff. Which is my ballgame, if you catch my drift.
I'm back at the Phoenix tonight, but probably just for tonight until Zak, my regular co-host for karaoke, finds himself a source of income. While his job at the Couche-Tard was compromised due to it undergoing renovations, I've let him take over the post at the Phoenix, yeah? Well I asked him if I could host for tonight. For two reasons; Norm and Heidi.
Norm is one of my best and oldest friends. When I started Scouts when I was twelve, he was one of the leaders (being nineteen at the time). He was a big influence in my life during my younger years. Well he turned twenty-five this week, and it's his birthday celebration tonight. Dinner then Phoenix.
Heidi is one of my newer friends. She (and the rest of the Cagrain Kids) is someone I met this semester at school, and someone I sort of see everyday (same with everyone else). Well it's her eighteenth birthday tonight and she's decided to come out to the Phoenix for her birthday celebration tonight. So that's two groups of my closest friends (in the city, anyway) coming out to the Phoenix tonight. It's going to be a lot of fun!
And now, some news on a loss. Wally, my trusted iPod Video (5th gen, I think)(and yes, I do name my electronics) was lost last week when I went out with friends. He was old, beaten, and even broken, but he still worked hard and offered me entertainment on trips. Be it to school, or to the capital, he was a pivital part of my daily routines. So rest in peace Wally, wherever you may be.
But fear not; there's a new addition to the family; Artemis. A brand spankin' new iPod Nano(-chromatic), and she's yellow (but like thunderbolt yellow). If I shake her, she'll shuffle and skip to the next song. If I rotate her, I'll see the album art (which I need to download some of). And I realize that this paragraph is sort of full of rather suggestive lines, but hey, get your mind out of the gutter!
With school behind me (practically, at least), and a long winter break ahead of me (along with a good night in my face), I can relax. And have fun. This winter, hopefully, I'll be going places. Probably Ottawa to see friends, Toronto to see friends and family, and maybe someplace new too, if I can afford it/find the time!
So this is life. And it's looking up.
...has passed, I think. Hopefully, and (I can rightfully say this) finally. For school stuff, I mean. There's only one full week of school left, which is right after this weekend. And then two additional days of classes, but those are really nothing. And with all papers and assignments behind me, all I need to worry about for school is performance related stuff. Which is my ballgame, if you catch my drift.
I'm back at the Phoenix tonight, but probably just for tonight until Zak, my regular co-host for karaoke, finds himself a source of income. While his job at the Couche-Tard was compromised due to it undergoing renovations, I've let him take over the post at the Phoenix, yeah? Well I asked him if I could host for tonight. For two reasons; Norm and Heidi.
Norm is one of my best and oldest friends. When I started Scouts when I was twelve, he was one of the leaders (being nineteen at the time). He was a big influence in my life during my younger years. Well he turned twenty-five this week, and it's his birthday celebration tonight. Dinner then Phoenix.
Heidi is one of my newer friends. She (and the rest of the Cagrain Kids) is someone I met this semester at school, and someone I sort of see everyday (same with everyone else). Well it's her eighteenth birthday tonight and she's decided to come out to the Phoenix for her birthday celebration tonight. So that's two groups of my closest friends (in the city, anyway) coming out to the Phoenix tonight. It's going to be a lot of fun!
And now, some news on a loss. Wally, my trusted iPod Video (5th gen, I think)(and yes, I do name my electronics) was lost last week when I went out with friends. He was old, beaten, and even broken, but he still worked hard and offered me entertainment on trips. Be it to school, or to the capital, he was a pivital part of my daily routines. So rest in peace Wally, wherever you may be.
But fear not; there's a new addition to the family; Artemis. A brand spankin' new iPod Nano(-chromatic), and she's yellow (but like thunderbolt yellow). If I shake her, she'll shuffle and skip to the next song. If I rotate her, I'll see the album art (which I need to download some of). And I realize that this paragraph is sort of full of rather suggestive lines, but hey, get your mind out of the gutter!
With school behind me (practically, at least), and a long winter break ahead of me (along with a good night in my face), I can relax. And have fun. This winter, hopefully, I'll be going places. Probably Ottawa to see friends, Toronto to see friends and family, and maybe someplace new too, if I can afford it/find the time!
So this is life. And it's looking up.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
What A Twist!
As we reach the halfway point of November, I realize that it's been a freaking long time since I had a good and proper post. I need to bring you up to speed. But because I already have so much momentum, there's a lot of space you need to catch up on. The bowtie was only the beginning.
So my uber bad streak came to an end. Took some effort, and not just on my part, but there hasn't been bad things in a while. A little while, granted, but even so. The fact is that it's ended, and that I've started to recover.
The superhero plays are still canceled, but I quickly shimmied together a new piece, which is titled David Kovalev. The story of a family that has twelve children, all who are named David (yes, even the girls). When I wrote it, I knew I had very little time to write it in (as it was to replace Splash Page and Cover Art), and that I had to write it for fourteen people. When I had the finished product in front of me, I wasn't too happy with the results. But when I brought in the script and we did a read-through with the cast, it came together. It came together and worked in every way that I could have hoped. Even with the confusion of who was playing which David (and subsequently whose lines were whose), we had fun with the reading. I'm looking forward to our tech/dress rehearsal next week, when we get an even better feel for it.
I've made up with one of the friends I was having troubles with. Paws. He wasn't one of the ex friends who was saying slanderous remarks about me. He's my best friend, and has been for years. But a couple weekends ago, we fought. Physically. I didn't know why, it just happened. But we've made up, and we've both apologized to one another for the damage we caused. Heck, we even joked/commented about how I managed to land a good blow or two (which doesn't happen often unless it's stage combat). But I'm really glad that we've made up. It helps a lot. We're not exactly what we were before, but we're talking again and trying to arrange to hang out sometime.
School... I think I've managed to turn it around completely. I have a shot at this, and I'm working really hard to make sure I don't miss. So hard that I dedicated this evening to writing a paper that I only need half the rough draft for for monday. So hard that tomorrow I'm doing nothing but working on a scene for acting class, and sunday I'm in the ceramic arts studio to catch up. And with the new play, I think I've covered all of my bases. Now I just need to succeed with all this hard work.
Work. Still nothing there. But I'm always looking, and always applying. A friend of mine who is a DJ is going to try to help me with some clubs and bars downtown, since I have my certificate and all. I'd love to have a job to start saving up money. For what, you might ask. Well, like any other teenager/young adult, I'm thinking about moving out of the home. To where? That depends on school goes. I could just be moving into an apartment with friends and/or classmates, or I could be leaving the city entirely.
I got into a singing show that I auditioned for a couple weeks ago. No, it's not the broadway choir that my friend Adam's in (I'm still going to try for that though). It's something a lot smaller, and done somewhat less professionally, but it has the same concept; a bunch of songs from a bunch of musicals, and we sing. I'm part of the ensemble for all the pieces that aren't solos, but I also have a couple solos myself (including Schroeder in "My New Philosophy" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown and the speaking solo in "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (Monty Python folks)). Rehearsals are on sunday evenings, and we've had one so far. My second one isn't this weekend though, because I get this weekend off... rehearsal wise.
That should cover most things. I know I didn't touch base on everything, but I did that somewhat intentionally. There are a couple things I'd rather not address here just yet. Nothing against you, it's just me, y'know?
So my uber bad streak came to an end. Took some effort, and not just on my part, but there hasn't been bad things in a while. A little while, granted, but even so. The fact is that it's ended, and that I've started to recover.
The superhero plays are still canceled, but I quickly shimmied together a new piece, which is titled David Kovalev. The story of a family that has twelve children, all who are named David (yes, even the girls). When I wrote it, I knew I had very little time to write it in (as it was to replace Splash Page and Cover Art), and that I had to write it for fourteen people. When I had the finished product in front of me, I wasn't too happy with the results. But when I brought in the script and we did a read-through with the cast, it came together. It came together and worked in every way that I could have hoped. Even with the confusion of who was playing which David (and subsequently whose lines were whose), we had fun with the reading. I'm looking forward to our tech/dress rehearsal next week, when we get an even better feel for it.
I've made up with one of the friends I was having troubles with. Paws. He wasn't one of the ex friends who was saying slanderous remarks about me. He's my best friend, and has been for years. But a couple weekends ago, we fought. Physically. I didn't know why, it just happened. But we've made up, and we've both apologized to one another for the damage we caused. Heck, we even joked/commented about how I managed to land a good blow or two (which doesn't happen often unless it's stage combat). But I'm really glad that we've made up. It helps a lot. We're not exactly what we were before, but we're talking again and trying to arrange to hang out sometime.
School... I think I've managed to turn it around completely. I have a shot at this, and I'm working really hard to make sure I don't miss. So hard that I dedicated this evening to writing a paper that I only need half the rough draft for for monday. So hard that tomorrow I'm doing nothing but working on a scene for acting class, and sunday I'm in the ceramic arts studio to catch up. And with the new play, I think I've covered all of my bases. Now I just need to succeed with all this hard work.
Work. Still nothing there. But I'm always looking, and always applying. A friend of mine who is a DJ is going to try to help me with some clubs and bars downtown, since I have my certificate and all. I'd love to have a job to start saving up money. For what, you might ask. Well, like any other teenager/young adult, I'm thinking about moving out of the home. To where? That depends on school goes. I could just be moving into an apartment with friends and/or classmates, or I could be leaving the city entirely.
I got into a singing show that I auditioned for a couple weeks ago. No, it's not the broadway choir that my friend Adam's in (I'm still going to try for that though). It's something a lot smaller, and done somewhat less professionally, but it has the same concept; a bunch of songs from a bunch of musicals, and we sing. I'm part of the ensemble for all the pieces that aren't solos, but I also have a couple solos myself (including Schroeder in "My New Philosophy" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown and the speaking solo in "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (Monty Python folks)). Rehearsals are on sunday evenings, and we've had one so far. My second one isn't this weekend though, because I get this weekend off... rehearsal wise.
That should cover most things. I know I didn't touch base on everything, but I did that somewhat intentionally. There are a couple things I'd rather not address here just yet. Nothing against you, it's just me, y'know?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
This Week
The Good: I used to think there was at least a little good left in this week (so far), but I was wrong. So far, there's nothing good.
The Bad: A hella lot more than usual. Like, a record-making amount. They say bad things happen in threes, but I think once you hit four, it must mean you're on some kind of roll. I'm definitely on a roll. Between physical, mental, and emotional beatings, as well as having to cancel plays, learning that some (ex) friends of mine have been saying extremely slanderous remarks about me (ex friends as in they're ex friends now, but they weren't when I first learned about the ordeal), and the equivalency of being dumped by a girl that I believe I couldn't be crazier about... by now you should realize how shitty a position I'm in. I don't think words can really capture how I feel right now.
Stupid thing is that I only really needed one major good thing to turn it all around. Just one. To turn the wave of negative energy and emotions into a tsunami of positive reinforcement and turn my life around. Just one good thing, like being told that I could go for another visit next week or weekend or the week after... like I did this past weekend... and instead I got shut down.
To have an idea of how I'm feeling physically, it's building up to what happened a couple weeks ago, but then add in physically beaten to the mix. To have an idea of how I feel emotionally... a heckuva lot worse.
Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for a little while. With luck, it'll be a magnificent post about how things have gotten a million times better and about how life holds nothing but good, if not great, things from now until the end, and about how I'm happily with some incredible woman, be it someone I know or someone I don't yet know (although I know exactly who I'd want that woman to be if you asked me right now). But yes, with luck, it'll be that...
Only five words are helping at all, and it's only a slim shade of a glimmer of hope, but it's all I have so it makes the world of difference. Five words that I said on Saturday, which was the last truly good day I had.
"...then I'll be thirty-one."
And that, right there, says everything in the world.
The Bad: A hella lot more than usual. Like, a record-making amount. They say bad things happen in threes, but I think once you hit four, it must mean you're on some kind of roll. I'm definitely on a roll. Between physical, mental, and emotional beatings, as well as having to cancel plays, learning that some (ex) friends of mine have been saying extremely slanderous remarks about me (ex friends as in they're ex friends now, but they weren't when I first learned about the ordeal), and the equivalency of being dumped by a girl that I believe I couldn't be crazier about... by now you should realize how shitty a position I'm in. I don't think words can really capture how I feel right now.
Stupid thing is that I only really needed one major good thing to turn it all around. Just one. To turn the wave of negative energy and emotions into a tsunami of positive reinforcement and turn my life around. Just one good thing, like being told that I could go for another visit next week or weekend or the week after... like I did this past weekend... and instead I got shut down.
To have an idea of how I'm feeling physically, it's building up to what happened a couple weeks ago, but then add in physically beaten to the mix. To have an idea of how I feel emotionally... a heckuva lot worse.
Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for a little while. With luck, it'll be a magnificent post about how things have gotten a million times better and about how life holds nothing but good, if not great, things from now until the end, and about how I'm happily with some incredible woman, be it someone I know or someone I don't yet know (although I know exactly who I'd want that woman to be if you asked me right now). But yes, with luck, it'll be that...
Only five words are helping at all, and it's only a slim shade of a glimmer of hope, but it's all I have so it makes the world of difference. Five words that I said on Saturday, which was the last truly good day I had.
"...then I'll be thirty-one."
And that, right there, says everything in the world.
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