"Eternals"

This is it. The morning of the last day of this particular year. Nothing all that special about this specific morning, apart from the fact that it's on the day where, at night, everyone drinks and embarrasses themselves. As they bid farewell to the past year, and welcome in the new year. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda. "NINJA PUNCH!" Not a whole lot to it.

It's not even 9am, and I've been up for a little while. Got plans for tonight with el best friend, which should be fun. Not exactly sure what said plans are, but it involves friends and celebrations of some kind, so they must be fun and exciting in some way, shape, or form. Right?

No, I don't have resolutions picked out already. I've got a couple things in mind, but I don't really see them as New Year's Resolutions. Why wait for the year to end to make resolutions to improve myself as a person? Anyway, my non-resolution-thingys involve finding a steady job, focusing more in school (if I can sort out the whole probation thing), working on making myself better and healthier (bit of a story there), improving my singing voice, learning an instrument, continuing my writing... a bunch of things*. Some big, some small, some important, some not.

*One of these things is "get superpowers if possible." A practical one too, if I get to choose.

I don't know what to do today though. Tonight is where the party and the life is at, but what about during the day? The sun is up, the air is chilled and brisk; a typical winter morning in Montreal. Worst part is; I'm bored. And it's not like it's the afternoon so I only have a couple hours to kill; I have the whole day ahead of me. Oof. Maybe I'll just read Neil Gaiman's "Eternals." That's a good way to kill some time; comic books. Fuck'n right.

The End of 2008

The New Year is right around the corner. Christmas is behind us. Still got a couple of weeks before school starts. But even though I'm on my "winter break," I feel like I've been working hard, and I've got more work ahead of me.

I got my final marks in the other day. 4 out of 5 marks were a pass ("success!"). The 5th mark... I'm shy 3% of a pass. Which isn't good, because of my academic probation. I have to pass 5 courses in order to stay in school, see? If I don't, I get booted out for one academic year. Don't think it's over yet though. I've already got plans to try to get that last mark to a passing mark. I can't just challenging the man, but I've got to speak with him too. Call the teacher, see if there's anything I can do with him for a grade booster. Talk to my counsellor to see if I can get my probation extended, in the event of not being able to boost my mark. Either way, I've got a couple of plans to try to sort this all out. If nothing works... then I guess I go with my "This is what'll happen if I don't stay in school" plan. I just have yet to work out the specifics of that plan, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Toronto. Arrived on Wednesday, just in time for Christmas with the Cassidys. My father, his wife, and his parents live out here in Etobicoke, where I was born. But for this Christmas, my uncles and cousins and those extended branches of family were here too, thus somewhat obligating me to come. It's nice being in Toronto, but I feel a little... I don't know... suffocated with family. I leave to return to Montreal in an hour or so though. I think the highlight of the trip was seeing my friend Hannah, who I met at Improv Camp 2006. I hadn't seen her since last winter, when I was last in Toronto, so it was really nice spending a day in the downtown area with her.

Wait, no, there's another highlight. I got to see my cousin Phil. He's four years older than me. When we were younger, he was always "the older cousin." This trip, however, I think he was my best friend when it came to the family stuff. We're both adults now, and we're on the same level. Anyway, he's part of this awesome band that's doing really well for themselves. I plan on catching their next show, if I can. The point of this mention was that he and I got to catch up, which was totally awesome. And he says he's going to teach me an instrument, if I'm interested. Which I very much am. Guitar or piano, I suspect, but I'd be happy with either!

Montreal; I get back today. 6 hours sitting in a car, with an occasional stretch break (probably once or twice during the entire trip). And guess what; I work tonight! Which involves more sitting, but at a bar instead of in a car. A lot of sitting in one day. I think I might go to The Orphanage tomorrow. I'd go to The Pound, but that's more of a Thursday night thing.

(Confused yet? The Pound and the Orphanage are the "names" of places I like. I'll probably go more into it in a later post.)

Providence?

Okay. School. It's done. No more assignments, tests, exams (hah, as if I had any), ceramic arts, or interviews. All I have to do now is wait patiently for the rest of my marks to come in. But as it would seem, good tidings are with me. I had my two interviews yesterday; one with Carol (for Moment and Theatre Creation) and one with Rob (for Acting). In that order.

With Carol, the interview couldn't be better. Apparently for this past semester, I was a star pupil save for an absence here or there. She told me that I seemed to work well with the class, that I was a really good example of a good in-class work ethic, that I was fantastic helping others with things that they found difficult, and a little bit more stuff too. All good. It was definitely a real confidence booster, if you ask me. Which was good since it was right before Rob's interview.

Don't get me wrong, Rob's interview went well, just nowhere near as well as Carol's. He's giving me a chance to show him that I am an actor. While I did improve over the second half of the semester (as he told me), like many others I still need work. And my insomnia made things difficult from time to time, in class, as I would start to doze off (rarely, but often enough to be a worry) after not getting sleep the previous night. So he and I have a deal now, which we call "Tough Love." If I start to doze off at all, I will be asked to leave the class and be marked as absent.

Normally such a thing would worry an insomniac such as myself. But I'm actually not worried. In fact, I doubt there will ever be a time like that. My determination is top notch. I already have a song selected for next semester's Acting class, and I'm already looking into monologue options and scene possibilities. This last semester was about getting back into the game; this upcoming semester is going to be about playing the game as best as I can.

For my other classes, I just need to wait for my marks to come in. But I've passed my Phys. Ed. class, I know that as a fact. As well as English; my written assignments were more than good, and everyone loved my play when it was performed. I even have a Scene Study picked for next semester, and hopefully I can do Splash Page as well. And if I can, then the two biggest assignments for that class are already finished. The only eyebrow raiser now is my Humanities class. I'm still waiting for the mark of my final paper, and that mark will make the difference between pass and fail. But I'm confident. My paper rocked, I know this. I just need the confirmation, you know?

So now I'm officially on winter break. Six weeks of freedom (be jealous, all my university-going friends!). I'm not working, except for the occasional karaoke night at the Phoenix. Although I might be bartending a special event at a club downtown sometime this month. If that comes through, that'll be several hundred dollars in one night, which I think I could use as my Holiday Funds. Combined with christmas money, I'll be able to do everything I want to do this break and so much more.

Things are good. There's always room for improvement, but I'm happy, and that's what matters, no?

Two Parties

The worst of it...

...has passed, I think. Hopefully, and (I can rightfully say this) finally. For school stuff, I mean. There's only one full week of school left, which is right after this weekend. And then two additional days of classes, but those are really nothing. And with all papers and assignments behind me, all I need to worry about for school is performance related stuff. Which is my ballgame, if you catch my drift.

I'm back at the Phoenix tonight, but probably just for tonight until Zak, my regular co-host for karaoke, finds himself a source of income. While his job at the Couche-Tard was compromised due to it undergoing renovations, I've let him take over the post at the Phoenix, yeah? Well I asked him if I could host for tonight. For two reasons; Norm and Heidi.

Norm is one of my best and oldest friends. When I started Scouts when I was twelve, he was one of the leaders (being nineteen at the time). He was a big influence in my life during my younger years. Well he turned twenty-five this week, and it's his birthday celebration tonight. Dinner then Phoenix.

Heidi is one of my newer friends. She (and the rest of the Cagrain Kids) is someone I met this semester at school, and someone I sort of see everyday (same with everyone else). Well it's her eighteenth birthday tonight and she's decided to come out to the Phoenix for her birthday celebration tonight. So that's two groups of my closest friends (in the city, anyway) coming out to the Phoenix tonight. It's going to be a lot of fun!

And now, some news on a loss. Wally, my trusted iPod Video (5th gen, I think)(and yes, I do name my electronics) was lost last week when I went out with friends. He was old, beaten, and even broken, but he still worked hard and offered me entertainment on trips. Be it to school, or to the capital, he was a pivital part of my daily routines. So rest in peace Wally, wherever you may be.

But fear not; there's a new addition to the family; Artemis. A brand spankin' new iPod Nano(-chromatic), and she's yellow (but like thunderbolt yellow). If I shake her, she'll shuffle and skip to the next song. If I rotate her, I'll see the album art (which I need to download some of). And I realize that this paragraph is sort of full of rather suggestive lines, but hey, get your mind out of the gutter!

With school behind me (practically, at least), and a long winter break ahead of me (along with a good night in my face), I can relax. And have fun. This winter, hopefully, I'll be going places. Probably Ottawa to see friends, Toronto to see friends and family, and maybe someplace new too, if I can afford it/find the time!

So this is life. And it's looking up.

What A Twist!

As we reach the halfway point of November, I realize that it's been a freaking long time since I had a good and proper post. I need to bring you up to speed. But because I already have so much momentum, there's a lot of space you need to catch up on. The bowtie was only the beginning.

So my uber bad streak came to an end. Took some effort, and not just on my part, but there hasn't been bad things in a while. A little while, granted, but even so. The fact is that it's ended, and that I've started to recover.

The superhero plays are still canceled, but I quickly shimmied together a new piece, which is titled David Kovalev. The story of a family that has twelve children, all who are named David (yes, even the girls). When I wrote it, I knew I had very little time to write it in (as it was to replace Splash Page and Cover Art), and that I had to write it for fourteen people. When I had the finished product in front of me, I wasn't too happy with the results. But when I brought in the script and we did a read-through with the cast, it came together. It came together and worked in every way that I could have hoped. Even with the confusion of who was playing which David (and subsequently whose lines were whose), we had fun with the reading. I'm looking forward to our tech/dress rehearsal next week, when we get an even better feel for it.

I've made up with one of the friends I was having troubles with. Paws. He wasn't one of the ex friends who was saying slanderous remarks about me. He's my best friend, and has been for years. But a couple weekends ago, we fought. Physically. I didn't know why, it just happened. But we've made up, and we've both apologized to one another for the damage we caused. Heck, we even joked/commented about how I managed to land a good blow or two (which doesn't happen often unless it's stage combat). But I'm really glad that we've made up. It helps a lot. We're not exactly what we were before, but we're talking again and trying to arrange to hang out sometime.

School... I think I've managed to turn it around completely. I have a shot at this, and I'm working really hard to make sure I don't miss. So hard that I dedicated this evening to writing a paper that I only need half the rough draft for for monday. So hard that tomorrow I'm doing nothing but working on a scene for acting class, and sunday I'm in the ceramic arts studio to catch up. And with the new play, I think I've covered all of my bases. Now I just need to succeed with all this hard work.

Work. Still nothing there. But I'm always looking, and always applying. A friend of mine who is a DJ is going to try to help me with some clubs and bars downtown, since I have my certificate and all. I'd love to have a job to start saving up money. For what, you might ask. Well, like any other teenager/young adult, I'm thinking about moving out of the home. To where? That depends on school goes. I could just be moving into an apartment with friends and/or classmates, or I could be leaving the city entirely.

I got into a singing show that I auditioned for a couple weeks ago. No, it's not the broadway choir that my friend Adam's in (I'm still going to try for that though). It's something a lot smaller, and done somewhat less professionally, but it has the same concept; a bunch of songs from a bunch of musicals, and we sing. I'm part of the ensemble for all the pieces that aren't solos, but I also have a couple solos myself (including Schroeder in "My New Philosophy" from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown and the speaking solo in "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" (Monty Python folks)). Rehearsals are on sunday evenings, and we've had one so far. My second one isn't this weekend though, because I get this weekend off... rehearsal wise.

That should cover most things. I know I didn't touch base on everything, but I did that somewhat intentionally. There are a couple things I'd rather not address here just yet. Nothing against you, it's just me, y'know?

Filler

This is just a filler update until I have more time for a proper and full update (y'know?). Remember back in July when I talked about wanting a bow tie? Well, I got one.

And I rock at tying it.

This Week

The Good: I used to think there was at least a little good left in this week (so far), but I was wrong. So far, there's nothing good.

The Bad: A hella lot more than usual. Like, a record-making amount. They say bad things happen in threes, but I think once you hit four, it must mean you're on some kind of roll. I'm definitely on a roll. Between physical, mental, and emotional beatings, as well as having to cancel plays, learning that some (ex) friends of mine have been saying extremely slanderous remarks about me (ex friends as in they're ex friends now, but they weren't when I first learned about the ordeal), and the equivalency of being dumped by a girl that I believe I couldn't be crazier about... by now you should realize how shitty a position I'm in. I don't think words can really capture how I feel right now.

Stupid thing is that I only really needed one major good thing to turn it all around. Just one. To turn the wave of negative energy and emotions into a tsunami of positive reinforcement and turn my life around. Just one good thing, like being told that I could go for another visit next week or weekend or the week after... like I did this past weekend... and instead I got shut down.

To have an idea of how I'm feeling physically, it's building up to what happened a couple weeks ago, but then add in physically beaten to the mix. To have an idea of how I feel emotionally... a heckuva lot worse.

Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for a little while. With luck, it'll be a magnificent post about how things have gotten a million times better and about how life holds nothing but good, if not great, things from now until the end, and about how I'm happily with some incredible woman, be it someone I know or someone I don't yet know (although I know exactly who I'd want that woman to be if you asked me right now). But yes, with luck, it'll be that...

Only five words are helping at all, and it's only a slim shade of a glimmer of hope, but it's all I have so it makes the world of difference. Five words that I said on Saturday, which was the last truly good day I had.

"...then I'll be thirty-one."

And that, right there, says everything in the world.

What The Immediate Future May Or May Not (But Probably Will) Hold

Tomorrow seems to be promising. While I totally skipped school today (missing two classes, a club thing, and a meeting), I can make up for it tomorrow by, well, going to school. It's the JAC open-house tomorrow and I volunteered to help with an open Combat class. Combat is one of my best Movement/Theatre classes, and we're just going to be doing reviews of everything we've already learnt, so I know that I'm going to be kicking butt (well, not really, but it will look like I'm kicking butt from an audience member's perspective).

So there's that. There's also the Get-Together. Originally, two of my classmates had this awesome idea for everyone to hang out on Saturday (aka tomorrow) before we all had to go downtown to see a play for our Theatre History class. And originally, we were going to have it at Michelle's house. Well, now it's going to be at my house. I leave the Open House early to get home, and people can start showing up at 3.30pm. From then until we leave for the play, we chill at my place and put in a movie and bar-be-que some food. All of my classmates. All thirty (or something like that) of them, if they all come. Should be promising.

After the "Chilling at Home with all of my Classmates," we make our way downtown to see this play called Life Is A Dream. What is it about, you might ask. I don't know. Where are you seeing it, you might ask. I'm not sure. Will it be any good, you might ask. More than likely, because theatre rocks like that.

Now after Life Is A Dream, all the theatre students are downtown on a Saturday night. Use your head and realize that we're not about to all just go home and call it a night. I'm sure at least a few of us will want to go out, myself included (since I'm missing karaoke dj-ing at the Phoenix for this), so we'll figure out some kind of party, no?

So that's what's happening tomorrow. Hallowe'en's in a week, except instead of a one night thing like it usually is, it's going to be at least a two or three night thing for me. Different parties and events and balls and such, you know? Oh, and before I forget; Splash Page, my superhero play, has been cast. I just need extras and to cast Cover Art, but the fact that I have all the main parts for the first play cast is just fantastic. I'm really pleased with the actors I have too. Now I just need to ask Steve if he'd be interested in helping choreograph the fight scenes...

Mini Cartons with Extend-able Straws

Does anybody even read this?

I take time and put it aside to do this. I put effort into it. There are hundreds, possibly even thousands, of things I could do in place of this. And for what? For no one to read this, or even care that some kid on the internet is writing all of this stuff about him down for people to read? At this rate, my blog could be completely private, or in a book locked in a box under my bed, and it wouldn't make any difference. Why? Because as far as I know, no one really reads this.

There, I got that off my chest.

I'm drinking those mini cartons of orange juice with extend-able straws, while listening to music and stalling on the mowing of the backyard.

To Whom It May Concern,

My heart is racing faster than I've ever felt it go before.
My heart feels like it's being squeezed really hard.
My ribcage feels tight, like it's being crushed.
My eyes feel ridiculously dry, yet tears are swelling up.
My muscles are spasming, and I feel so weak.
I can barely maintain one single conscious thought that isn't on all of this pain.
I can't speak; my vocal instrument won't work.
I can't breathe; my asthma's spiked up and is worse than it's been... ever.
I was just sick, and blood was in the mix.
And I think I'm going to be sick again really soon.

I don't know what to do. But I know why this is happening. Or, at least, I have a really good idea of why...

Opportunities

So my possibility of becoming a bartender has increased significantly. For multiple reasons.

1: I have completed my bartending course at John Abbott College, and I do have my Introductory Bartending Certificate, which isn't the best but it is better than having zero education in this field, and a lot of people get hired without the education. I know free-pour and how the BERG system works, I know tons of recipes ranging from cocktails to martinis, even to specialty coffees and hot chocolates and teas and whatnot.

2: My bartending teacher liked some of the recipes I came up with, and I'm constantly coming up with new recipes too. I had a lovely chat with the bartender at the Avon Theatre before seeing Cabaret, and she listened to some of my recipes and liked how they sounded. She said if I was ever interested in a summer job and could find a place to stay in Stratford, I could easily be a theatre bartender there.

3: My sister Sarah is in town, and she's told me that this place called Vinyl downtown is looking for a bartender. She's going tomorrow evening with a friend, and I'm going to go with them with a version of my CV (I'm going to make a bartending version for this purpose) and a photocopy of my certificate. With luck, I'll get a job there. Hopefully Friday nights. If I can do one night a week and that night works for Vinyl, then that'd be awesome, because then it doesn't conflict with school and I would still have my weekends to travel and do homework and whatnot.

4: Even though I have my certificate, and even though I'm not a resident of Ontario, I might look into getting what is called a Smart Serve. I can do it online, I just need to get the money in order to do it. If I can get it, it would certainly help with getting a job in this field.

So those are the reasons why my chances of getting a job as a bartender are increasing. Granted, I am a bit young (only of legal age here in Quebec), but if I can prove that I can do it and show promise in my mixing skills, I might have a job. Wish me luck with Vinyl!

Speaking with Mute Voices

I thought of the expression "falling of deaf ears," but that'd suggest that I'm having a problem listening to people, which isn't the case. It's that no one's telling me anything. Normally such things wouldn't bother me (all that much), but this time it's different, because this time it's the people who I thought could tell me anything that won't tell me a damned thing.

I don't know what to do. I'm worried. I feel like I can't get any words out. And if I try to argue my point to these people, I'll be shot down/ignored/whatever else could happen that isn't them telling me what it is I was promised I'd be told and then suddenly "not in the mood for telling" happens...

The Ups and Downs of the JAC Stratford Trip

So I just recently got home after an excruciatingly long bus ride from Stratford, Ontario, back to Montreal (Quebec, naturally). I went on the John Abbott/Dawson College trip; four plays in three days. It was my first time visiting this seemingly wonderful city, and it is an experience I doubt I'll ever forget. But, like any other experiences, this one had it's good moments and bad moments. The pros and cons, if you will.

The four plays involved three of Shakespeare's works, which apparently is tradition for the Stratford trip. The four plays, in the order we saw them in, were; The Taming of the Shrew, Hamlet, Cabaret, and Romeo and Juliette.

Shrew and Cabaret were definitely my favorite shows of the four. I had done a musical adaptation of Shrew in high school (I was Tranio), so it was really incredible to get to see the original production done in a high class professional theatre, such as Stratford's Festival Theatre. The costumes and set were simply jaw dropping, and the acting was ridiculously top notch. Of the three Shakespearean pieces from this weekend, this was my favorite of the trio.

Cabaret was what had me hooked from the beginning. Before the bus even left Montreal at the beginning of the weekend. I had heard so much about it, but had never seen it before. In my Acting class at JAC, we do some choreography of Cabaret as a warm-up, so it was really great to see how it came to be in the show. Everything in it was just... fucking wow. Yeah, I had to swear, it was that good. It was the only show of the four that wasn't in the Festival Theatre. It was in the Avon Theatre, which is more like your traditional theatre (where as the Festival is much in comparison to the National Arts Centre in Ottawa, what with the round stage and large house).

Hamlet... never really hooked me before, and I have to say the same. It was done slightly contemporary, but it remained consistent throughout the show, which is more than I can say about R+J. Romeo and Juliette... was my least favorite of the four. While the cast was great, some things bugged me. Like how they kept jumping back and forth from contemporary props and costumes to Shakespearean, and then back again. It was as if the director couldn't make up their mind or something. The acting in the show was good... except for our leading man and lady. Their performance felt dry and empty, and to me it seemed far too... rehearsed. It didn't feel natural to me. But other than that, it was a fine show with a beautiful set.

I picked up two souvenirs for myself too; a set of juggling balls and a pair of gloves. Now I know that those objects would seem to be random as my selection of souvenirs from my first visit of a new city, but there's good reason. Juggling balls because I started to learn how to juggle during the summer, and I want to resume those lessons, and I figured having the right instrument would help. And the gloves are for my superhero plays, as a costume piece. After trying to make the gloves myself and failing three times, I found this amazing pair for a good price (considering it's a costume piece and not just a regular pair of gloves), so I got it.

My roommates... not something I really want to get into right now. Let's just say that they didn't make the experience the best it could be.

So in short, that was my trip. I'm home now though. I suppose I'll write more details about the trip at a later point in time, but no guarantees. We'll see how long this energy burst from Stratford lasts.

Scene Change

Change of scene ladies and gentlemen! And the following is directed specifically towards the ladies (sorry gents, but I don't swing that way); this writer and performer of various kinds is no longer single! No more of this "in the air" business either. It's official and everything. More details, and a formal introduction, to come later!

Holy kleenex Batman! We blew it!

Oof, it's been a while. Not a month, but this is my first post in at least two weeks I think. Probably. Something silly like that. And let me tell you; it's been some busy times. Let's see if I can recall it all...

The radio show I mentioned in my last post rocked out pretty well. I got the whole booth to myself, so I was able to unwind while playing my tunes, and everyone in a CSKY zone got to hear my choice of songs and my words. While I know that not a whole lot of people actually pay attention at all, it's still nice to know that people are hearing it (even if they aren't listening). I've got a show tomorrow (today, technically), which will be really good because my friend Jenn and this girl I met on Wednesday named Janelle are both joining me for the show. Jenn might even become my regular (or semi-regular) co-host, depending on how scheduling goes for her.

I did indeed go to Ottawa, as I said I wanted to. It was this past weekend. Tegan's birthday. Got to see Tegan (uhm, duh?), Tony, and Suzie. Which was really nice. Not to mention it was really really nice to get out of Montreal for a couple days. Like, this city is fine, but once in a while you just need to get away, right? Well, Ottawa's the place to get away to. There, I feel like I have no problems or troubles. I can relax properly. I can enjoy myself. I think I'll always love it there. And if I end up being a teacher (which is one of my back-up plans for career choices), I think I'd like to teach there. Or at John Abbott. I don't know. If I get there, we'll see.

School's going well. Insomnia's making things difficult when it comes to Humanities class though, since I nod out once in a while. I'm going to talk to my counsellar at school about what I can do about that. I'm also going to talk to the teacher, to see if we can sort anything out. It sucks, yeah, but I want to be a responsible student. And I can't afford to fail any classes. But of all my classes, that's the only one I'm worried about. Everything else is going well. And I'm getting a hell of a work out with most of my theatre courses and my gym class. I'm in better shape than I've been in a long time. I feel stronger, and I am stronger. And you know what? It shows. Even Rob, my acting teacher, has noticed.

On the subject of Rob, I had the best Acting class today (well, on Thursday). For vocal warm-up, we do regular voice-warm-up-exercises, but we also sing some. Tender Shepards, Hallelujah, and Will I (from Rent). Sometimes for Will I, Rob will single out a couple people at a time or even just one person at a time. The lyrics are simple; "Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare." Well, I was singled out in class today, and let me tell you this; I was at the top of my singing game. Got the notes spot on, and even held "nightmare" on a single breath.

I'm online this late because I only got in a little while ago. I went out to karaoke downtown with some friends; Paws, Kenevin, Lauren, and Adam. Adam's friend Laurence came too. We were having a good time, but after a couple drinks and some bitter truths, shit kinda hit the fan. Nothing that'll cause earth-shattering-results though... I hope. I'll make some calls tomorrow and sort everything out. Everything should be okay.

I'm still on the single scene. Well, actually, I don't know. It's up in the air. I've met this girl that I really really like. I'm 100% positive she knows. Nothing's set in stone or anything, but we are talking quite a bit and want to hang out more often. I'm hopeful, but I'm not letting my hopes get too high. More to come... as soon as there's more to report, I guess.

Oof. Class in three hours and fourteen minutes. And counting.

Kill Me Romantically

I have 40 minutes before I need to get off the computer and into bed. It's been a long day, and I have quite the day ahead of me. But I thought I could sneak in a quick blog post since I finished preparing my playlist for radio tomorrow. I'm excited for the music I've got planned. I'm sure I'll have to cut a song or two depending on how much time is taken up by speaking, but we'll see.

School's going well, I think. No troubles with my teachers or classmates yet, and I plan to keep it that way. I get to see my school-friends everyday too, and they're turning into real-friends, since we keep hanging out off of school grounds more and more often. We've hung out, this week so far, on Monday, Tuesday, today, and plans for tomorrow involve poker and drinks. All of this after school of course. I'm really excited for tomorrow.

I'm still hitting the single thing. And not enjoying it. All of my friends are either taken, or telling me "being single is great! You can do whatever you want without having to ask, like, permission! You can even sleep around if you want!"

Yeah, y'see, that's not me. I've never had to "ask permission" to do something. If I'm going out with friends, there's never been a problem there with me and a girl. If I suddenly get a shift at work, well shit happens, and it's fine. The only time things could be stressful would be when I'm in production for a play or film and my schedule's filled up, but I always notify girls about that ahead of time, so usually it's not a big deal.

I'm not a sleeping around kind of guy. Sure, I bet it's great fun and pleasure in the heat of the moment, but it's nothing lasting. I'd rather something real. A commitment of sorts. Even if it's "I don't want to be a girlfriend to anyone right now," as long as there's still a form of commitment and monogamy there, I'm cool with that. So all in all, single isn't exactly for me.

But none the less, I'm still hitting that scene. Not complaining, but not enjoying myself. There's just no one out there for me at this moment. Sometime I get a small blip on the radar, but it hasn't turned out to be anything so far. It might be a while before I find someone. That would kind of suck, but it's not the end of the world or anything, y'know?

I miss some people. In the summer, I went to the Capital a lot, remember? I didn't go solely for GC; I have regular friends there too. Well some of them have moved away for university and such. Others are still there. But I miss them all. It's been a while since I was last in Ottawa. It's high time I go visit!

Jobs and Courses

So I have a job as a Kareoke DJ at the bar called the Phoenix in Ste-Anne-de-Bellevue. I've blogged* about this before. It's a neat little circle, because the Phoenix is what got me into karaoke, and singing. Now, because I started at this bar months ago, I'm the DJ for Saturday Night Karaoke, and I'm auditioning for the Lyric Broadway Singers. I haven't auditioned yet, but I hope I will soon, because I'm really excited about it.

I might be getting a couple new jobs. Yes, that's right. JobS. Plural, biatches.

My friend Amanda, who used to be roommates with a girl who's a third year now in my program at school, works at Mike's on St-Charles, which isn't far from where I live. I might be able to get a job there as a waiter. It'd be a tough-ish job, but better than being a fry cook at McDonald's if you asked for my opinion. So I'm applying there, and I hope I get it.

Now I said a couple jobs. Couple, as we all well know, means two. Mike's is one, but the other is far more epic than that. At John Abbott CEGEP, my school, they'll occasionally offer this bartending course. Not like a class you take twice a week, but just a 12-hour course. Four nights of three hours each. I don't know if it means I'll be getting a bartender's certificate thingy at the end, but it will help me potentially get a job as a bartender. And in Ste-Anne's, there're a number of bars.

Normally getting into this bartending course is hard. The second that it's printed in the Daily Info, it fills up. But I got really lucky, and managed to get in with the first wave. And my friend Julie, from high school, is doing it with me!

So imagine that. A theatre student who's a part-time bartender. It's nice to imagine. Yeah, it's a tough job, and nothing to make a living out of. But I'm still in school and still living at home, so really for me it's just about the pay at the end of the night. I could save up and get experience at the same time, so that later on, if/when I move out, I can get a job as a bartender someplace else. A nicer place. But I'm not going to be picky about where in the beginning. I'm targeting Ste-Anne's bars to apply to, if I can after the course, since it's where I am a lot for school anyway. It makes sense in my head.

But just imagine. A theatre student who's a bartender while he's in school. I bet some of my classmates will be jealous. And I bet a lot of them would come to wherever I'm working just 'cause I'll be there. And because I'll be the bartender. Mostly 'cause I'll be the bartender. But hey, I'm not complaining. A job's a job, and the tips of bartending would be more than enough money to do whatever I want, since I'm still currently living at home. I admit, it'd be nice to live on my own, but right now I don't want that stress.

Oh, by the by, I think I have a crush. I think. I'll keep y'all up to date when I know more and have stuff figured out, cool?

*I can use the word "blog" as a verb as well as a noun, right?

Currently: Sitting in my friend's bedroom while we chill and wait for the bus. We're back to back; John on his laptop and me on his desktop. Drinking soda, listening to punk rock, and eating licorice. Having fun chilling, while I wait for the 211 route to start up in about two hours.

Random fact: My bedroom at home is moving to the basement, and my (current) bedroom will become the TV room once the switch is complete. I'll have a bigger room (once the switch is done) which is better suited for entertaining my friends.

Message to my reader: Hey Girl from the Capital (still GC, but instead of "in the capital" it's "from the capital"), how's school?

Primetime

A little bit of news on what I plan on doing with my 11.30am to 1.00pm CSKY radio spot on Friday afternoons.

1: I'm going to take advantage of the fact that since I have a spot that more people listen to, I'm going to make sure I'm heard. My thoughts. My opinions. My voice.

2: My show will be called Life Through A Lens. Because I think it sounds cool (and somewhat deep), because it's meaningful, and because I wear glasses.

3: Every now and then, I will have either a Guest Speaker or a Special Co Host. Some friends I made through CSKY has a break during my spot, so sometimes I'll invite them to join me and host with me.

4: This isn't a "for sure" kind of idea, but I was thinking about having a different Andy Warhol quote every week. Or something along those lines. What do you think?

Always Busy

Look at the time. Can you believe what hour it is? Yeah. I just got home maybe half an hour ago. My schedule is so packed and hectic that it's ridiculous. Really long days at school. Homework is ridiculous too. I'm glad I only work weekends at the moment, even though I'm trying to find another job to help bring in more money. Call me crazy if you want. I already know I am.

School... we're three weeks in, and we're not wasting any time. Between my program courses (theatre courses; five of thoses) and my regular courses (four of those), I'm taking on a lot. I start early in the morning, end in the early evening (not even late afternoon!). A shitload of reading for some classes, written assignments for others, and a bunch of weird stuff. I don't even have all my books yet, because the bookstore never has what I need.

Bright side of school: I got my position at CSKY radio back. Last semester I was a DJ for the school station on Thursday mornings, from 8h30 to 10h00. DJ Cassidy is back for another semester, 'cept now I'm on Fridays from 11h30 to 13h00. A spot that has a lot more listeners, since more people would be on break during this time. I've also been told that some first year students are trying to get an improv club going; not an easy feat. But if they manage it, I'll be attending that. I'm also debating about joining a kayaking club or a rock climbing club. Either will help build upper body strength, which would be nice (since my lower body's already in amazing shape).

The superhero plays I wrote have basically been approved. Just pending approval from the other two teachers, although the one in charge of Final Showcases this semester read them both and really enjoyed them, so it looks like I'll be able to do both this one semester. I'll keep you up to date on how rehearsals and preparations go, and I'm going to try my absolute best to get someone to record the performances.

Now I'm exhausted. I need sleep.

Something's Wrong

I don't understand. This doesn't make sense. I shouldn't be awake right now. This shouldn't be happening. Wait, you're a bit lost, I suppose I should start at the top.

I have sleeping problems. My mother's side of the family has some history of sleeping problems, I just happen to get hit with the hard stuff instead of it skipping a generation or two like it sometimes does. Most of the time, my partial-insomnia makes it extremely hard to get to sleep, but not impossible. And when I am sleeping, it doesn't last very long. A couple hours at most. Usually I get close to half of the "full 8 hours of sleep that's required."

On occasion, however, I won't be able to sleep at all. I'll toss and turn in bed, trying to find a position more comfortable than the last. I'll spend hours staring at the ceiling, keeping my mind absolutely clear and keeping my body absolutely still. I'll practice meditation (my uncle's a Buddhist, and meditation is something we practice in Movement and Creation at school) to ensure that I have peace of body and mind at these times. I'll regulate my breathing into something extremely clear and relaxed. But none of these things get me to sleep on the occasions that my insomnia kicks into high gear.

On nights like those where my usual tricks and methods don't work, then I resort to something a little more old fashioned; tiring myself out. I'll read. I'll go for a walk, or a jog, or a run, or even a bike ride. I'll go to my basement and do push-ups and sit-ups until my muscles are screaming at me and can't do anymore. None of this helps though; it just makes me more tired, yes, but not sleepy tired. So it makes the next day more difficult.

Now to the present.

Thursday I had been awake for a good 22 hours. Then I got 3 hours of sleep. Friday morning was extremely boring, but I was able to entertain myself with some music and card games, and reading some articles on the internet. When it came time for school and classes, I showered, dressed, got ready and everything. Everything was going alright.

At some point during my Intro to Movement class, I somehow pinched a nerve in my back. All of the muscles in my back tightened towards that one point. It hurt all on it's own, and the slightest shift and movement made the pain worse. So I went to the Health Services office at my school, missing the first half of my voice class (Terry, my teacher, was notified, so it was okay). I had visited this office a great deal last year, concerning acquiring fresh bandages when injuries needed new dressings, or when my asthma started to flare up again.

At Health Services, I was checked up, and then sat down in a chair with a heating pad on my back. It relaxed the muscles, helping relieve the tension and taking the pain from "god this hurts" to "this is an ache, or a sore, at most. I can live with that." I attended the rest of voice class, and then hung out with some friends for a few hours. Even did some yoga outside Casgrain.

After a little while though, the pain came back. Slowly at first, but then in full force. So I went to the hospital. They told me the same thing; nerve in the back. It would take time and rest for it to heal and the pain to go away. Minimal movement and whatnot. I had to see a play last night for a class though, and told them this, so they gave me a shot of god-knows-what in my back. Made the pain go away instantly, even though it was just a temporary fix.

So at this point I've been awake for nearly 36 hours with only 3 hours of sleep (and not full, well-rested sleep). Yeah, the pain is gone (for now), but I'm still dead on my feet. My muscles are tired and don't want to support me anymore, but I keep on trekking. I go to the play. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but the play was fun. Halfway through the play, though, the shot I was given wears off, and my pain is back.

But with a new twist! Every time I cough (asthma) or sneeze (allergies), I get a really sharp pain in my head. Ouch. Major time ouch.

When I get home (which takes a good hour-plus), I tell my Mum about the back and the pain. I'm given some pills for back-pain and to relax my muscles. I take some aspirin for my head. I take some benedryl for my allergies. I take one of 'em sucker things that soothe the throat, preventing coughs. And I set myself up on the couch in my basement, lying perfectly flat on my back and absolutely still, while watching some Heroes Season 2 on DVD (that I recently got).

I was able to watch all the bonus features of the first disc, all three episodes and bonus features of the second disc before nodding off. I was going to get up to put disc three in, but decided against it since I was comfortable and didn't want to move. I nodded off. And woke up four hours later.

Four hours is decent for me... if I hadn't been awake for the equivalent of two days and acquired a back injury. I don't understand why I'm awake right now. I shouldn't be. I had exceeded the limits, even for me and my insomnia. I was hurt. In pain. I should've been passed out for an extra three hours, at least. (Yeah, I sleep best when injured. As nice as it is that it helps me sleep, it sucks that I've been injured enough to know it for a fact.)

But no. I'm awake. Still in pain, but it's just a sore. An ache. A bearable pain.

Turn Around

Am I allowed to swear? Can we air this if I curse? I wouldn't say it's a naughty word, but it is certainly a bad word that I have in mind that I want to use. George Carlin (RIP dude) had it defined under his "Seven Words" bit. Well, I'm going to go ahead. This my my blog (one of them, anyway), so I think I'm allowed a certain degree of freedom.

Holy fucking shite, I feel like someone pulled a rug out from under me, revealing a trap door in the floor, which opened up beneath me, causing me to slide down this weird water-slide-like tunnel (but minus the water), and now I've been dropped off in a place I don't recognize. And I have to face a series of challenges to be able to go on. Go on with what? With life? I don't know. Hell, I don't even know how many of these challenges will be good or not. I mean, sure, I can be hopeful, and I am. But I want to clarify something.

The whole "Holy fucking shite" thing? That wasn't out of shock, or anger, or anything like that.

Excitement.

School started on Monday, August 25th. If you really care to know what's going on, you can read my journals on different subjects here. You don't need to read all of them, really, but at the very least you can read the first post to get the idea of what it's all about. Get it? Got it? Good. Moving right along then.

Without going into an incredible amount of unnecessary detail, I'll tell you that school's going well. A million times better than last year went. And it's only been a week. It's been busy, aye, and crowded, and a lot to keep up with, but I am having a good time. Heck, it's even kicked my sleeping patterns into something decent! I'm planning on talking to the TWE folks about the superhero plays I wrote... as soon as I make a minor alteration to both of them that it necessary for continuity purposes. I really hope I can get them on though, considering how much time and hard work I've put into them.

Remember Mott? This is him. While he still needs ears, and eyes, and a haircut... he's finished. Some clothes wouldn't hurt either, I suppose. But for now, with his long hair and sunglasses, he is totally rocking a surfer-puppet look. I brought him to my first T.W.English class, for two reasons: (A) To get people to join my Project Group (I'm a PGL now), and (B) to show what kind of crazy stuff people can get away with in that class.


Work. Yeah, I'm still a Karaoke DJ, don't you worry about that. I'm doing it with my friend Zak now. He's the guy that lived with me for two months. Goes to my school. Swell guy, and a great friend. So he and I co-host Saturday Night Karaoke at the Phoenix now... when it works, that is. While we managed to fix the computer problem (and thus regain all the songs we've been missing for the last month or two), the monitors are still giving us hell from time to time. We did what we could, and now we just have to hope for the best and pray they work next time. Because if they don't, then I don't know what I'm going to do.

Anyway, I stayed last night (even though there was no karaoke) to chill with some friends. I was accused of some pretty ridiculous shit from someone I used to consider a good friend (I stopped considering them that last night, when they went all offensive and insulting for no reason). Had to deal with the stress of the karaoke stuff not working. I was tired after a week of school. But apart from the shitty stuff, it was alright. Had a couple drinks with some friends (who didn't insult me for no reason), got to hold hands for a couple seconds with someone really nice*, and shoot a couple games of pool. I miss pool. In the end, I went all the way downtown for breakfast at 3.30am. It was fun, and nice. My breakfast was a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a soda. Moe's, downtown, about a block from Alexis Nihon. Check it out. I highly recommend it.

*(It was just holding hands, and it was just for a couple seconds. Literally. That was it. If there's more to come, then you'll know about it. I guess, anyway.)

So this basically wraps this post up. Long weekend this weekend, thanks to Labor Day being tomorrow. I think I'll be going downtown to see a friend of mine who's visiting from Québec City. In the meantime, however, for the rest of Sunday, I shall wait for a phone call which I'm starting to think I'm not going to get... Oh well. Either way, I'll make the best of everything.

Hobey-ho, let's go!

Complete

So I haven't been completely honest with you. No, I haven't lied about anything. Everything I've written is true. I just haven't been writing about everything, if you understand what I am trying to tell you. But things have changed recently, and I think now is a good time to share with you what I kept from you, and then explain what it was that changed, and how things changed at all.

As you know, GC and I broke up, right? Aye. I wrote about that a while ago. It's been little over a month now. For most of that time, however, I couldn't get over her. Everything reminded me of her. And the things that didn't? I just found myself wishing I could share those things with her. I couldn't get over my feelings. While my heart was ready for the "moving on," my head wasn't. It kept bringing up thoughts and memories. I could see her smile whenever I closed my eyes. My heart skipped a beat if I saw someone that looked like her, because for a moment I would hope, dream, and imagine that it was her.

It was hard. Rough. Painful. Saddening. And impossible to get past. I knew I could, but I couldn't control what my head was doing. I found it extremely difficult to sleep. I didn't like eating, because it just made me feel sick. Songs that used to be my favorites suddenly held new meaning, and that meaning didn't help the situation that I was in. I still felt for GC. I still wanted to be with her.

To me, I think that if you found someone that you were willing to give up your dreams for, but they didn't ask you to give them up and actually supported them... you should hold onto that person. You won't find many. You're lucky to find one or two. To me, GC was that girl for me. I would have given up my dreams for her, but I lucked out, because not only did she like that I wrote and improvised, but she did it too. And then it was over. And I was sad.

Now? I'm better. I don't know how to explain it really, but I think I finally got my head to cooperate. School really helps as a distraction, seeing as how it wasn't something I ever really got to share with her, but even so, it makes no difference. I'm actually over her now. I still like her, yes, and I still want to be friends. But relationship-wise, I'm over her. And I owe it all to a webcomic that I read.

This is the comic. While my situation isn't anything like Hawk's (the main character), since he wasn't completely sure if the break up happened or not, I feel that it still applied. GC and I didn't end things in a blazing fire. We didn't fight or yell or argue during our break up. Sure, it sucked and it hurt, but it went a million times better than it could have ended up going. As Hawk's friend said; "Fuckin' fantastic. Grab your coat, we're going out."

Since I read this comic, on Monday, I've been feeling differently. And let me tell you; it feels good.

Last Day of Summer

It's nearly midnight. School starts tomorrow. Spent a good portion of the day working on Mott. He's nearing completion now. Had to spend a little money to get thread and some fabric-spray-adhesive, but it was well worth it. I'm hoping that this first puppet of mine will be finished sometime this week. When he's done, there will be pictures, fear not.

The evening, however, was spent with friends. Friends I knew from high school, and a couple that I met during my first year of CEGEP. They're all good friends. I don't get to hang out with them too often, but when I do, it's good times all around. We chilled, browsed the net, joked a lot, and watched The Birdcage. I haven't seen that movie since June 2006, which was right after my first prom. I think the interesting part was that we were all hanging out at the house where we hung out after that prom. So same place, same movie, a couple of the same people, and a few people that weren't there the first time around. And it's a good movie. Really funny. Robin Williams has a weird esque mustache though. Nathan Lane is a riot, as per usual, haha!

School starts tomorrow. Part of me is excited to start, but another part of me wishes that summer wasn't over. There're some things I wish I could do over. Some things I wish could have happened differently. I'll talk more about this later, because now isn't a good time for me to talk about it. Sorry.

Two

1. School starts tomorrow.
2. I'm lame. But this is a commonly known fact.

Thunder

Rejection. In most cases (like, percentage wise, the high 90s) it sucks. In all cases, it's either expected or unexpected. And in the cases of where it's expected, you still hope and pray that it isn't coming. But in very few cases (the unused percentage), it isn't necessarily sucky. It can be shocking, sad, unhappy, surprising, or even funny. Tonight's case of rejection was both surprising and funny. Here's the story.

So a few weeks ago, I met this girl named Isabelle. Izzy for short, as a nickname I guess. She's cool. A lifeguard, plays rugby, and works with a bunch of people I know. Uses the expression "true story." Anyway, we talked a lot (this was at Tuesday night karaoke that we met), and decided to exchange digits. In my mind, I'm thinking sweet, a new friend! I didn't know what was going through her mind.

At one time, she came over to my house. We BBQed a dinner-type thing, popped in a movie, but we talked most of the time. Payed very little attention to the movie because it was such a good conversation. And no, that's not blogger or slang or code for anything else. We just talked. Then I walked her to the bus stop, and that was it. We made half plans to hang out again.

Those plans grew into proper plans. We were going to go bowling. Just the two of us, but bowling because it's something fun and something you can do while talking and/or having a conversation. Still in my mind, I had the word friends. I didn't think anything would happen, nor did I want it to, nor did it ever even enter or cross my mind.

Anyways, those bowling plans were "rain checked" because Izzy didn't feel too well on the day of. I say rain checked because that was the word she used. Not canceled, just moved to another day. So that's what happened. Then somewhere between that day and the day it was supposed to happen, we traded bowling for the movies, and made movie plans instead. (Still friends in my mind. (And for those of you who don't know, I wouldn't do movies as a date unless it involved a day of something else first, so that should really confirm that it was solely as friends.))

Get this; the day we're supposed to go to the movies, there's a wicked storm. That was this past Monday. Izzy's got a bad knee from a rugby injury, and she's not a fan of rain (whereas I am a huge fan of storms). So we moved the plans from Monday to Thursday. AKA today. Well we met up at Fairview to catch the bus. While waiting for the bus, she turns to me and says "We need to talk." This totally came from left field. I had no idea what it was going to be about, or what was going on in her head. But listen to (or rather, read) what she said to me.

"I just want you to know that I don't think I'm in the mind set for a relationship right now, and I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings in any way."

Like I said; left field. I actually chuckled, and quickly explained to her that it had never entered my mind. She smiled and chuckled a little bit, saying that she's glad for that, as it meant nothing would be awkward between us throughout the duration of our relationship (which would be a friendship. Got it?). I didn't bring up the recent ending of my relationship with GC with, well, who needs that when you're trying to get to know a new friend better, right? There's a time and place for that. And sure, it's been a month (close to it anyway) since it happened, but I'm still thinking about her. Not all the time, but there are moments that sneak up on me and then BOOM, like thunder, they're there.

But apart from the whole "nearly awkward moment" and the chuckle we shared, it was a good night.

Ties

Today's agenda!

In about three hours, my friend Mitchell will be coming over with his camera. He's the guy I've been acting in a short film for. My friend and co-star Mike will be joining us as well. We just need to shoot a quick little bit, retake a single shot in the new location (which is my house), and then we can get on to the regular hanging out stuff. So we'll be chilling for the afternoon, which should be fun.

Karaoke tonight. 'Nuff said about that, except I'm going to wear one of my nifty new ties. New to me, but they're second hand. But they're freakin' awesome. A couple of them remind me of Al from Quantum Leap. You know, the guy who's a hologram that only Sam, the main protagonist, can see? Well Al always has crazy ties and whatnot, and a few of these ties remind me of that. They make me think it'd be funny to puff on a cigar and carry around a handheld computer and say "Sam, Ziggy says there's an 98.5% chance that this is what you have to do in order to leap."

If you've ever seen the show, you'd understand what I'm talking about. It's good, in that old cheesy 80s way. A lot of fun to watch though.

Work

So I got back from the capital today. I went up yesterday in the morning, and got back this afternoon. I went up for my friend Tony's birthday party. It was pretty good. Coffee, followed by dinner at a restaurant that I felt somewhat under dressed for. Then we walked around Elgin street and whatnot. Then we could this bar on Elgin that does Karaoke on Sundays, which I thought was really cool. Now I know where I can sing next time I'm in Ottawa.

Speaking of Karaoke, this past Saturday night was my first successful night as a Karaoke DJ. The monitors worked. The night started off slowly. Slowly as in I only had three singers with a bunch of songs each. But as the night went on, a couple friends showed up and more singers joined the rotation. I went from "struggling to keep a good rotation without hearing the same singer every other song" to "I can't take anymore songs, the list is already full for the night!" My friends Tyler, Joanna, Matt and Newman showed up. I was happiest to see Newman and Joanna, to be honest. Matt's got a bit of a mouth to him, and he isn't really aware that I know about what he says about me behind his back. I know Newman from Tuesday night karaoke at McKibbin's, and he alone made the night more bearable. Especially since his performances behind the microphone made this one asshole a lot less asshole-like.

It was a good night, sure, and I was happy to get paid at the end of it, but it wasn't very fun. I think the main thing that contributed to the "no fun" part was that none of my Phoenix friends were there. Guess where they were? A cast party for a play that was organized and put on by the old karaoke DJ, Evan. I knew about the play months and months ago. Evan had even asked me to be a part of it way back when. But guess what; in the end I didn't get to be a part of it, and while all my other friends were partying and having fun, not one of them thought to at least swing by the Phoenix to see how I was doing or tell me how the play went. So I was a little disappointed by that fact. I thought/hoped that they would all come by the Phoenix after the play and have their "cast party" there, but in the end, no. No one thought of me. Some friends, eh?

Newman's awesome though. He's turning out to be a better friend than I thought. I don't have his email or phone number or anything like that though, so I see him when I see him, but whenever he's around, I have a good time. He even waited for me after closing to give me a ride home, which was really nice of him, considering that if he didn't give me a ride, I'd be waiting 3 hours for the STM (Montreal public transit system) to start again to catch a bus home. I mean, like, I knew I'd have to wait for buses when I accepted the job, and was totally willing to, but it was such a relief to have a ride home.

I'm looking forward to Karaoke tomorrow night at McKibbin's. I'm also looking forward to school that starts next Monday. The superhero plays I wrote? I finished one of the costume pieces; a burnt up tee-shirt that looks like it had been on fire. I literally lit it on fire to make it look the way it does. Just... it's so fragile that I'm only going to get one real use out of it, so I'm saving it for the play itself. Fun, eh? Next up, concerning costume pieces, will be the utility belt for Cover Art, since that play requires a superhero costume of sorts.

So, all in all, it was a half bad, half fun weekend.

Hot Damn

I ended up pushing 43 hours and 37 minutes before heading to bed. I don't know how long I was in bed for before actually falling asleep, but it felt like a long time. But I have gotten some much needed rest. Being awake in bed last night, before actually falling asleep, was the worst. Without actions or distractions, my mind had it's opportunity to rear it's ugly face and call up some memories. My thought process wandered. For a while, I thought I was dreaming, until I realized that I was still 100% awake.

But shit damn am I a good actor. Because I went out to a friend's birthday party last night. And no one knew that I was awake that long until I told Kate, a new friend of mine that I met last night. She was shocked. The look on her face was priceless.

Looks on faces often tend to truly be priceless, heh.

Surprising

So I'm still awake. Still operating on no-sleep-whatsoever from last night. I think I might have actually amazed myself, and it's very rare that I'll say something like that. But in all seriousness, I thought I was going to crash and burn a couple hours ago. Yet here I am, feeling as alert and as awake as I would be if I had actually gotten some sleep. The only thing that reminds me that I didn't get any sleep is the fact that some of my joints are a touch stiff. Such things are easily remedied with some stretches, and a bike ride.

It's a beautiful day. It really is. What's funny though is that I keep forgetting that it's still the AM. I keep thinking that it's like 2 or 3 in the afternoon, but then I realize that it isn't even lunch time yet. I've got the whole day ahead of me, and I'm putting it to use.

I'm going to write a couple chapters for my fourth book, Parvulus Aequitas, to catch up on that. I might get some work on Mott done, or rather, as much work as I can get done without requiring assistance (which will happen at some point, I don't doubt that). Best part is this; I don't need to rush.

I've got the whole day ahead of me.

UPDATE:
It's been four hours, and I'm still awake and alert and fresh. It's so... weird, but at the same time, I feel... empowered. I'm operating on no sleep at all today, but I'm as awake and as alert as I would be if I had gotten sleep. Heck, maybe even more than if I had actually gotten sleep. Is that even possible?

UPDATE:
Just hit the thirty-six hour mark. Thirty-six hours that I've been awake. I'm starting to get a little tired, as I normally would at the end of a long day. At least I know that I'm going to sleep well tonight, y'know?

Not Bad

For those who have been keeping up; I managed to finish the compilation. Stayed up for most of Wednesday night to do it, but it was finished, and I already handed it in to my employer. It was enjoyed, thoroughly.

Wow. It's quarter to eight in the morning, and I haven't slept at all yet. I stayed up all night playing Capture The Flag with some friends. It's something we do once or twice a summer, at least. Then we went for breakfast downtown at this place that's open twenty-four hours a day. Then we watched the sunrise. Watching the beginning of a new day truly is a beautiful thing. Especially with the way the sky is today. Patches of white fluffy clouds with blue skies everywhere else. It was slightly chilly, but the sun hasn't been out long enough to heat things up at all.

I'm at home now (obviously enough) and I'm figuring out some things. Next week is my last week of summer vacation before school starts on the 25th of August. While I've been excited for school to start for a while now, at the same time, I think I'm going to miss the summer. So I'm trying to figure out what should be done for the last stretch of summer vacation, and what I can or can't afford. Expenses cannot be determined until Saturday night; when I know whether or not Karaoke happens or if the monitor-system is still busted. But I'm pushing that stuff to the back of my head, while I figure out how I'm going to make it to a friend's birthday party this afternoon. It's off the island of Montreal, and I have no idea how I'm going to get there or back home for that matter. I'm hoping that someone will be able to give me a ride, y'know?

Meanwhile, even though I've not slept yet, I still feel awake. Sure, I'm tired, but not sleepy tired. It's amazing what insomnia can do to you. I really thought, and was hoping, that when I walked in the door I would just want to crash. Well, low and behold, I can't. I tried. So here I am. I'll probably try to get a short power nap in later to make up for the lack of sleep, just so I can get through the day.

Sigh.

Falling Apart: UPDATE

The laptop is a bust. It doesn't have enough Random-Access-Memory (aka, ram) to run the software required to continue the project. I'm out of options, at least for the time being. This is ridiculously problematic. I'm sincerely screwed.

SECOND UPDATE:
There's hope yet. While the laptop is a bust and Liz (my computer (yes I name stuff)) won't run the software, I've been dealt a new hand of cards to work with. A friend of mine is coming to visit Montréal tomorrow, and with her she is bringing her MacBook. She also happens to have iLife '07, which contains iMovie, which is video editing software. Depending on how long it takes me to familiarize myself with the program, I could get this job done. So cross your fingers!

Falling Apart

Shit damn. Some things have fallen apart before my very eyes. Other things came to my attention. Well, they didn't just come to my attention, but rather they grabbed the attention. I've got a lot on my plate right now, but I'm not sure if I'm hungry enough to finish it all. (Alright, bad metaphor, but who's complaining?)

This past Saturday was my first night of work at the Phoenix as the new Karaoke DJ. My friend and former-roommate Zak was there to assist me on Evan's request. Evan was the old DJ. Anyway, we get everything set up. Books, microphones, the computer system; everything. We decided to leave turning on the monitors for when it comes closer to the actual thing. Well, guess what. The monitors wouldn't work. We couldn't connect the karaoke system to the monitors, thus no lyrics were visible, and thus we were absolutely screwed. There was no karaoke this past weekend at the Phoenix. My first night of work was an absolute bust. I just hope I don't have these problems next week, otherwise I'm going to have a very hard time affording another trip to the Capital (see below).

My freelance film editing thing had a beautiful start. I had put in five hours of work and managed to get little more than half of the first compilation finished. Anyway, when I booted up the program to start on the sixth hour (and hopefully wrap up the first compilation), it crashed on me. Completely and utterly. I backed up the source files and the project files, and then tried rebooting the computer. Didn't work. I uninstalled the program and reinstalled it. That didn't work either. I ran four different trouble-shooters, but nothing worked. Five hours of work had been lost because the program failed on me. I have a laptop on loan to me from a friend, and with a minuscule (and legal) hack, I'm hoping to be able to do the work on the laptop. Best case scenario; the backed up project file works and I can pick up where I left off. Middle case scenario; I have to start the project from scratch. Worst case scenario; it doesn't work on the laptop.

I'm off to the Capital again. From Sunday the 17th until Friday the 22nd. It's not to see GC (although I am hoping that we could arrange coffee or something while I'm there). It's a friend's birthday, which is initially why I'm going. I'm staying the extra few days just to hang out with some people. Take my mind off of things and have one last "hurrah" before school starts. School starts Monday, August 25th. A bit sooner than I expected, actually, but school will force my mind onto other things. Not to mention I'm actually looking forward to school.

That's what's going on.

Mott

Mott. The first puppet I am working on. I haven't been able to get a lot done on him lately, given all the filming and guests I've had over. And yes, I confess that my social calendar did get in the way once in a while with work on this muppet-version of me. But there is good news, and it has absolutely nothing to do with car insurance; I found the digital cameras. I took photographs of my tools, materials, and what I have accomplished so far.

This is his head. The lower jaw and the rest of the head are two completely separate pieces. The glasses were an old pair of sunglasses that I removed the lenses from for Nameless Love (for my double to have glasses too), and decided to recycle for Mott. He is supposed to be modeled after me, after all, so it only makes sense for him to wear glasses as I do. His hair will be dark brown wool, and the skin will be this fleece (see below) which I got on sale. I'm thinking ping-pong balls for eyes. Cut down to size and colored to look like eyes, of course!




This is the body. It's a small black plastic bucket from a small waste-paper basket thingy. It was made seperate from the rest of the unit so that I could just pick up this bucket and empty it when needed. I cut out the body and used the cylinder shape to act as the bulk of the body. This makes Mott more stage-and-live-audience friendly, since most puppets don't have rigid torso structures. Paper towel wrapped around the bottom of the bucket (which is the top of the torso) so that I don't scratch my wrists on jagged plastic from the cuts. Duct tape was used to secure the entire thing. It'll take two layers of fleece for an even "puppet skin tone" but we'll see how one layer works first, given that he'll be wearing clothes more often than not.



This fleece is what I am using as skin. The photo doesn't exactly do it's color justice. To describe it's color with words; "just imagine the color and texture that puppet skin would be." It even has that texture, yes. I managed to get three meters of it on sale, so I have more than enough to be able to safely make mistakes. I've already used some of the material for the arms, which you're about to see!




These are the arms. Using hanger wires as the skeletal frame for the arms, I padded up the wire with excess foam to give the arms flesh. Foam for the hands, although the hands aren't finished. I have excess material at the end of each arm to be able to safely attach the arms to the body when it comes time. Magnets will go in the hands to allow Mott to hold things. Magnets will also be placed on the body and the wands (the rods that the operator uses to maneuver the arms), so that everything is detachable, making transportation easier.


These are my tools. A sewing machine, which I'm getting really adept with, helped make the "fleece sleeves" which became the skin of the arms. I'll need to hand sew the body and head though, so we'll see how that goes. The electric turkey carver is for the foam; it makes cutting a lot cleaner and easier to do that with your average kitchen knife. Not to mention it's faster.

So that's Mott so far! Stay tuned in to see when he's finished!

Compilation

I used to have this hobby where I would take video clips from all sorts of things and make compilation videos out of them. I'd pick a song, and then organize and cut the clips to that length. It all started April of 2006, when I got really bored one day. I followed this series of video games called Kingdom Hearts (which is my all-time favorite video game), and had a lot of videos and cinematics from the games on my computer. So when I was bored, I opened up Windows Movie Maker and got to work. It was a big hit amongst all my friends who know/like the video games, and a good hit amongst people who kinda knew me but knew the game really well. So it went up on Youtube and MySpace. I made a second Kingdom Hearts compilation which went on youtube, and a third one that went onto MySpace. (So far, the third one of those three has over fourteen thousand views and 96% good rating.)

Approximately eight months after I made my first video game compilation, I tried something that never entered my mind before; using video clips I had taken with my digital camera. I had clips from everything; school, play rehearsals, even Improv Camp 2006. So I had at least a year's worth of clips to put to use. So I did, using a song called Don't Ask Me by OK Go. The compilation was a huge hit with my friends, considering more than half a dozen of the people I showed it to started to make their own video compilations.

After the success of Don't Ask Me, a big question I got was "will you make another?" I thought about it, and I did. I came up with a set of self-guidelines, which included "don't use a song that pushes three and a half minutes unless there's enough variety in the clips" and "pick a song that everyone will find catchy, even if they don't outright enjoy it." Those guidelines helped, for I had made eleven compilations over the following year. Twelve if you count this thing from an improv-team tryout, but it was only thirty seconds long and didn't feature music.

As I got closer to the end, I started to push on the boundries I had set for myself. My tenth compilation was nearly four minutes long, and used a type of music I had never really done before. But it worked. My Improv Camp 2007 friends seemed to really enjoy it. My last compilation, using the song Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger, was more than three and a half minutes, and really let me get back into the grove of things, especially since I lost a majority of my reservoire of clips when I lost my computer's harddrive.

That was nine months ago. I haven't made a new compilation since Flagpole Sitta.

Until now. My friend Cathy just got back from this trip to Germany/France. She was sent for work, but used some vacation time to extend her stay in Europe. She's back now, and she had known that I used to make video compilations. So she asked me if I could make one (or two) for her using clips she had taken during her trip. I said yes, even though I knew I was going to be rusty at the very least.

Get this; Windows Movie Maker didn't support the .mov file type that all her clips were in. I had hit a snag before I could even get settled and properly started.

But I was smart, and already had a back-up plan in mind. Adobe has this thing where they have awesome programs such as PhotoShop and AfterEffects and whatnot, but for several hundred US dollars. BUT if you had signed-up for an account on the Adobe website, you could download the software and have a 30 Day "trial period" for free. So I quickly hopped onto the website and downloaded the software for Adobe Premiere Pro CS3. I had never used it before, and feared that it would take me days to get the hang of it.

It took me about six minutes.

I don't know how to accomplish crazy fancy things with this seemingly amazing program, but I know the basics and then some. It's a lot smoother than what I traditionally use (Windows Movie Maker), and it's made organizing clips and audio a helluva lot easier.

Anyway, I've put in three hours of work so far on the first compilation. I'm using a Weezer song. It's been nine months since I last made a compilation, and now that I'm doing one again, I realize how much I enjoyed doing it. But not just that; I realized that it wasn't just a skill or a hobby I had, but a talent. When I had a song picked for a compilation, everytime I listened to it, be it while working on the compilation itself or listening to my iPod on the bus, my mind would be listening as well, figuring out what type of clips could go where, when to cut clips, and everything. I seriously need to dig out the old digital camera and start to take video clips again. I want to make a comeback to the video compilation scene, and I want it to be big.

You know why I do it? Why I make compilations, why I write, why I'm building a puppet? Because being creative feels good to me. I feel good knowing that I'm putting my talents to use. I like making things that people will enjoy. I like making things and doing things that will create an emotional response in whomever my audience is.

Day After

Night four of the four night binge was a success. Good rotation at karaoke too. I got to sing My Way by Frank Sinatra, Peaches by Presidents of the USA, Under Pressure (with Cathy and Adam) by David Bowie & Queen, A Little Less Conversation (with Adam) by Elvis Presley, and Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.

Surprisingly, I did Vanilla Ice well. The only reason I put it up was for all the people who cheered for Under Pressure thinking it was Ice Ice Baby.

Four Day Bender

Tonight was officially the third night of a four-night-binge with my friend and costar Mike Orton. He plays the part of Chase in Shards of Man, who is the character John's best friend. I play John. Anyway, Mike and I are on a four night binge. Saturday night was the first night. "Cast & Crew" party for Shards Of Man. Really that was just an excuse to have a party. Sunday night was hanging out with Kelly and Chris, making it four of us. We watched Home Alone 2 and played Super Smash Bros. 64. Tonight was another party at Mitchell's, but it was more of a get together than anything.

Oh, and there was drinking involved each of these nights.

Tomorrow night, Tuesday night, is the fourth and final night of the Four Day Bender. It'll also be the only day of the four where Mike and I won't be together. Mike is off to Metropolis (a venue in Montréal) to see Rancid in concert, and I am off to McKibbin's for Tuesday night karaoke. Adam'll be there, and hopefully Cathy will be too. Cathy just got back from Germany and France last week, and I haven't seen her in like two and a half weeks. She's a good friend. Gave me a ride to visit GC once. Oh, and my new friend Izabelle is coming over to hang out and have a small BBQ. Should be fun. I'm going to introduce her to Dr. Horrible.

That's what is happened/happening. Enjoy the show.

Speed Racer

When I'm on my bike, I can be pretty fast. It's easy to pick up speed for me, and I always,
always, pedal on the heaviest gear. Why? So I can get a workout even if I'm at a decent yet not-too-speedy pace. My lower body is really in shape, and I try to keep it that way. I enjoy riding my bike.

But when a friend in need calls me and the only thing you want to do is make sure they're safe, well, let's just say it's good to be in shape.

Close to half past midnight, my friend Chloe (not Chloe from my first post, that was just an alter ego) starts chatting with me, asking for a quick and painless way to die. I just thought she was writing a short story or something, but I don't give her any ideas. I ask her what it's for. Next she tells me that even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be brave enough to. Chloe would never commit suicide, but death was on the mind, so immediately I told her that we were going to meet somewhere.

I live maybe a 30 minute walk from Chloe's place. Walking at my pace that is (long strides and fast pace). But I made that trip in six minutes flat on my bike. I raced over and caught her at the end of her block. We were going to meet at a park between our places, but I just raced over there. We sat outside for a couple minutes before going back inside to be comfortable in her living room. She told me what was going on and why she was so depressed and worried and troubled while I cleaned up a cut she had gotten earlier that evening cooking (she's home alone for the weekend, and she tends to get careless about injuries). By the time she finished her story, I had finished dressing the cut. (NO the cut was not self inflicted.)

This is how much I value my true friends. Not assholes who call me their friend but really don't give a flying rats ass about whether I'm alive or face down in a gutter. For my true friends, I would be there for them in a heartbeat. No matter who I was with, what I was doing, or even if I was in the middle of some breakthrough that could cure cancer; friends come first. True friends even more so. So I cleared a vast distance in record time for her.

And that's my story for the night. It's what I just got home from.

PS: Chloe's alright, or at least she will be. She keeps the promises she makes to friends, and she promised me we'd hang out tomorrow for a little bit. This way I can make sure that she didn't try anything and that she really is (or is going to be) alright.